My 1st Anniversary Trip! (picture heavy)

I was completely unsure of what to do for our anniversary. We went back and forth. Initially I wanted to do a week-long trip up the California coast. Thomas was not fond of this idea. Neither was he fond of the idea of going to Europe – for financial reasons.

I asked for help from the ever so trusty Facebook and Hearst Castle was suggested. I had been there years and years ago and the same was true for Thomas. It’s a 3 or so hour drive from our home so it was a good choice. We left on Saturday morning and headed directly to the Castle. (You can read about the Castle here). I had pre-purchased a tour ($25 for each, so not too cheap) and we waited around and did some gift shop shopping before watching a movie that told the history of the Castle. Finally we headed into the Castle in the afternoon.

A couple of miles up the coast from the castle is a place where Elephant Seals congregate. These things are HUGE! We enjoyed seeing those as well as little chipmunks that were climbing up another guys’ pant legs!

After that we drove back down the coast to Morro Bay. I had never been there, I hadn’t even heard of it.

It’s a quaint little town in the Central Coast, with incredible ocean views and a huge rock which used to be a volcano! We stayed at the Masterpiece Hotel only a few blocks from the beach/waterfront. The first night we had a nice room and they gave us a bottle of sparkling apple cider and card for our anniversary. The next day we asked if they had any of their Jacuzzi rooms available which I had read about online.

Because the lady working the front counter has a daughter who is planning a wedding she was in the giving mood for a couple on their first anniversary and for barely a little bit more she upgraded us to their suite. The room was GORGEOUS! Words can’t do it justice, so I’ll let the pictures do the job:

On Sunday we decided to walk down their waterfront and just figure out what to do. I really wanted to go kayaking and had been looking forward to it, but (un)fortunately SoCal has had a pretty cool Spring (does that mean our summer is going to be more of a scorcher than usual?) and it was windy so we decided to skip out on the kayaking. Instead we did a nice tour of the area by boat. Nice part? They served alcohol on the boat! Woo!

There was also a kite festival so we walked over to that and enjoyed some viewing of the event. We were impressed by the size of many of the kites.

We relaxed in the hotel before heading out to dinner at Window on the Water – a beautiful restaurant that was recommended to me by a friend as well as by amazing reviews. They gave us a nice window seat and we watched the sunset. The food was DELICIOUS!!

Monday was time to head back. We checked out of the hotel and headed down the coast. As we drove down we decided to take a side trip to Solvang – a little Danish town. I had been to it many times before with my family but this was the first time we went as a couple. Unfortunately Thomas had to be on his phone for most of the time for a work call, but it was still nice to walk around. We had lunch at a popular pizza place and enjoyed a tour by horse drawn carriage. We then finished it off with some delicious ice cream.

This is a classic picture of me... we have one from every time I've gone to Solvang.

On our way back to the freeway we stopped at an Ostrich Farm! I had never seen this before and am so happy that we spotted it! We got to go in for a few dollars and feed the ostriches and emus! They are strong peckers for their food! They had baby ones as well which I did go ahead and pet – they were super soft!

He Drives Me Crazy, But I Still Love My Puppy

I'm so excited that Christine reached out to write about our doggies! Don't forget to check out her post over at: So-Called Homemaker! We both have dogs that we love but that sometimes drive us crazy, so we wanted to share our frustrations and the reasons why we love our babies so much! 

I’m new to having pets. I thought I was prepared for a dog… but after having Lance for a few months I realized that there are things I wasn’t ready for and that drive me crazy!

O N E – Potty training. I have not been able to potty train him to save my life. Maybe half the time he goes number two on our balcony, but pee is generally on our carpet. He will not use a pad. I even got him one of those fake grass things and he won’t use it. I’ll give him credit, though, he is good at going outside when I take him. I just can only take him in the evenings and that does not seem to be enough for him.

T W O – Chewing things. At first he seemed perfect, he kept to his toys. But it has gotten out of hand. He has chewed up the carpet and pulled it up from the wall and gotten to the stuff under the carpet.  He will also grab anything off our coffee table and start trying to eat it – including my husbands’ antibiotics (don’t worry, it was Keflex which dogs use, so he was fine!). I know this is probably our fault, but it’s so frustrating!

T H R E E – Biting/nipping. This is probably a puppy thing, and he’s still working on dropping his last baby tooth, but I am tired of it. Putting on pants, sitting on the cough, petting him… he wants to nip at your hands and feet.

All of these things have made my husband and I consider that maybe he is not the right dog for us and that we are not the right humans for him. He might need a yard or someone that can take him out more than once a day. We got a Chihuahua because it was recommended for condos… but he is one big Chihuahua.

HOWEVER I really do not want to give up on him or us. When I started to really think about giving him away (to a good home, not a pound or anywhere that he won’t be loved) it made me very sad. I have definitely grown to love him and so has my husband (much more than either of us expected, I think).

Lance is VERY loving. In the morning his favorite thing to do is to come and lay on my lap for an extended morning sleep. When I come home he jumps up on me, letting me know much he loves me. When I take him for walks and we meet up with my mom, niece, and nephew he can spot them from a block away and suddenly his tail begins to wag and he butt shakes and his ears go down, showing them that he is happy to see them!

Lately he has taken to put his head under my chin in burrowing into my shoulder and just staying there - it feels like it's his way of hugging me. It's the sweetest most amazing feeling. 

So even though he can drive us crazy and we'll have to change our carpets sometime soon, the love he provides us is more than enough to keep him around. 

When Puppy Love Drives You Crazy

I'll be the first to admit that being a fur mom is not always easy - I've definitely learned that in the past few months. 

But the love that pets bring to a household is more than enough to make up for it. I'll go into detail about it with Christine later this month, but I wanted to share this video today. 

I'm grateful for the love that my little pooch brings to me. 

You gotta love the way this still looks! 

Linking up with Emily and Ember Gray...

Grateful Heart Monday - Mika

As you may have read, I spent weekend before last in the Bay Area visiting my sister and her family. 

My sister is 15 years older than me and got married when I was 9. I would spend 2-3 weeks at a time visiting her and her husband all during my middle and high school years. Her husband is a great guy and very good with kids. They had my eldest niece Mika when I was 17 and I was able to spend the first few of months of her life with her (since I graduated high school a month after she was born).

Mika was my princess for nearly 3 years before my other nieces were born (the next two were born 3 months apart, one is Mika’s little sister, and the other my brothers’ daughter). I feel like I have  a special connection with her. She’s 12 now and she is becoming a full blown teenager. I feel like kids are much older these days. 

I love all my nieces dearly and equally, but I think that the few months I spent with Mika gave us a special bond. Now it’s grown because of our common love for the Backstreet Boys. I didn’t even do it! She, on her own, began to listen to them and began loving them just like I did when I was about a year older than she is now. It was nice to spend the weekend listening to their albums and watching videos on YouTube. 

As I boarded the plane to go home I got a text from her saying she wished I was sitting with her watching videos right that moment. On Sunday night she hugged me and called me her best friend. I felt all the feelings right then. 

We spent a big part of the weekend getting ready for my younger nieces’ birthday party. She had a few friends over and they played, watched movies, and ate ice cream. We tried to go bowling but the place was packed and didn’t have lanes available (oh well). We went to a local ice cream parlor right before our flight home to enjoy some sundaes - a tradition of theirs. 

It was a very nice trip. The girls had been coming to spend a week or two with us over their vacations and it was nice. I used to be a teacher so I had the same breaks so I could take them to do different things. Now that I don’t get extended breaks it has become harder, and now that I’m married it will be even harder than ever. As we were leaving Mika asked her dad if they could come spend spring break with us, we’ll see if that happens or not . 

I’m glad I got to spend the weekend with the girls (oh, and I guess my sister and brother-in-law as well). 

September 30, 2011

Lately I’ve seen a few people talk about how they met their boyfriends/husbands and I thought I’d get in the game. Most recently I read Two Martini's post about meeting her husband on OkCupid so I wanted to share my story – although it’s not as hilarious as hers (so go read hers!)

All my dates came from meeting someone online. Okay, no, that’s a lie. I once dated a waiter but that was short lived – maybe 2 dates. I used all the dating sites, including OkCupid (actually, I think that was my second favorite of the dating sites).

I met my husband on Craigslist. Yes, you read that right. Craigslist. The site that people are afraid of, that is thought of as a place that people meet murderers or rapists. The place people joke about when they buy something off of it. But it worked for me and I was never afraid.

I know many people don’t know that you could even meet people off of CL (that’s the short version) but you can. There is a personals area where you can either post an ad looking for a date or you can reply to others ads. There is plenty of spam posts and you will surely receive a lot if you post, but they are pretty obvious so it isn’t a big deal.

I had done the replying to posts however I found that for me it was easier to post and have people reply to me. Sometime in the summer of 2010 I posted and got a reply from a guy who seemed pretty neat. I replied to him inquiring about where he lived and a picture. He replied that he lived in Compton and with his picture. I didn’t reply back to him.

Apparently this guy turns out to be my husband. I don’t remember this and I don’t have any of the e-mails saved and he hasn’t shown me proof, but I suppose I’ll believe him. He says that I didn’t reply because of the picture he posted, I tell him that I’m sure that it was because of him living in Compton. Not only a bad neighborhood, but probably 40 minutes away from where I lived.

That's Thomas in the background. This was our first date. 

Fast forward a year and I get another reply to another post. We start talking. He seems familiar and I ask him if we had met before (sometimes that happens in the online dating world) and he tells me no. LIAR! He replies with a picture and that he lives in a neighborhood only a few minutes (7 to be exact) from me. I reply back proving that it wasn’t his picture but where he lived that turned me off the first time.

Our first Christmas (a few days before) together. 

Our first 4th of July together (2012)

Our first camping trip 8/2012.

Thomas accompanied me to my 10 year HS reunion.

I'm sure you can figure this one out.

We texted back and for the for a few weeks before we had our first date, which was 3 years ago today – the day before my birthday!

I Also Grieve

Like most others out there I am feeling sad for the loss we all experienced on Monday. I even feel a sort of guilt that he gave us so much joy while he was suffering so deeply inside. I hope that the joy he gave us was some sort of solace for him during his life. 

I know there are many controversies over whether his suicide is selfish or not. Even FOX News called him a coward on Monday. I'm with, I think, the majority in disagreeing with those type of statements. Rachel from With Love, Rachel did a great job talking about this in her post today. Yesterday, my sister, who has battled depression throughout her adult life posted a link that also talks about how suicide is not something that should be treated as selfish. Both people explain how depression is an illness like any other physical illness you need medical attention for. Unless you've experienced that illness for yourself it is hard to understand what the person is going through. I suggest you read both links. 

I was in the lunch room at work when a co-worker asked me if I had heard about it. At first I hoped he was joking and that it was a hoax like the many you see online. Unfortunately we saw that it was not. 

The first thing that came to mind was a poem that my mom had memorized and recited to me often (mostly because I requested her to). The poem is in Spanish, written by Mexican Author Juan de Dios Peza. 

I'll copy it here in Spanish and the English translation that my sister created a while back. I suggest you read it, it fits perfectly with Robin and his life and ultimate death.

REÍR LLORANDO

Viendo a Garrick -actor de la Inglaterra-

el pueblo al aplaudirlo le decía:

“Eres el más gracioso de la tierra,

y más feliz…” y el cómico reía.

Víctimas del spleen, los altos lores

en sus noches más negras y pesadas,

iban a ver al rey de los actores,

y cambiaban su spleen en carcajadas.

Una vez, ante un médico famoso,

llegóse un hombre de mirar sombrío:

sufro -le dijo-, un mal tan espantoso

como esta palidez del rostro mío.

Nada me causa encanto ni atractivo;

no me importan mi nombre ni mi suerte;

en un eterno spleen muriendo vivo,

y es mi única pasión la de la muerte.

-Viajad y os distraeréis. -¡Tanto he viajado!

-Las lecturas buscad. -¡Tanto he leído!

-Que os ame una mujer. -¡Si soy amado!

-Un título adquirid. -¡Noble he nacido!

-¿Pobre seréis quizá? -Tengo riquezas.

-¿De lisonjas gustáis? -¡Tantas escucho!

-¿Qué tenéis de familia? -Mis tristezas.

-¿Vais a los cementerios? -Mucho… mucho.

-De vuestra vida actual ¿tenéis testigos?

-Sí, mas no dejo que me impongan yugos:

yo les llamo a los muertos mis amigos;

y les llamo a los vivos, mis verdugos.

Me deja -agrega el médico- perplejo

vuestro mal, y no debe acobardaros;

tomad hoy por receta este consejo

“Sólo viendo a Garrick podréis curaros”.

-¿A Garrik? -Sí, a Garrick… La más remisa

y austera sociedad le busca ansiosa;

todo aquel que lo ve muere de risa;

¡Tiene una gracia artística asombrosa!

-¿Y a mí me hará reír? -¡Ah! sí, os lo juro;

Él sí; nada más él; más… ¿qué os inquieta?

-Así -dijo el enfermo-, no me curo:

¡Yo soy Garrick!… Cambiadme la receta.

¡Cuántos hay que, cansados de la vida,

enfermos de pesar, muertos de tedio,

hacen reír como el actor suicida,

sin encontrar para su mal remedio!

¡Ay! ¡Cuántas veces al reír se llora!

¡Nadie en lo alegre de la risa fíe,

porque en los seres que el dolor devora

el alma llora cuando el rostro ríe!

Si se muere la fe, si huye la calma,

si sólo abrojos nuestra planta pisa,

lanza a la faz la tempestad del alma

un relámpago triste: la sonrisa.

El carnaval del mundo engaña tanto,

que las vidas son breves mascaradas;

aquí aprendemos a reír con llanto,

y también a llorar con carcajadas.

To Laugh While Crying

Watching Garrik – an actor from England -

the people would say applauding:

“You are the funniest one on earth

and the happiest one…”

And the comedian would laugh.

Victims of melancholy, the highest lords,

during their darkest and heaviest nights

would go see the king of actors

and change their melancholy into roars of laughter.

Once, before a famous doctor,

came a man with eyes so somber:

“I suffer – he said -, an illness so horrible

as this paleness of my face”

“Nothing holds any enchantment or attractiveness;

I don’t care about my name or my fate

I die living an eternal melancholy

and my only hope is that of death”.

- Travel and distract yourself

- I’ve traveled so much!

- Search for readings

- I’ve read so much!

- Have a woman love you

- But I am loved

- Get a title

- I was born a noble

- Might you be poor?

- I have richnesses

- Do you like compliments?

- I hear so many!

- What do you have as a family?

- My sadness

- Do you go to the cemeteries?

- Often, very often.

- Of your current life, do you have witnesses?

- Yes, but I don’t let them impose their burdens;

I call the dead my friends;

I call the living my executioners.

- It leaves me – added the doctor – perplexed

your illness and I must not scare you;

Take today this advise as a prescription

only watching Garrik you can be cured.

-Garrik?

-Yes, Garrik… The most indolent

and austere society anxiously seeks him;

everyone who sees him, dies of laughter;

he has an amazing artistic grace.

- And me? Will he make me laugh?

-Ah, yes, I swear it;

he and no one but him; but… what disturbs you?

-So  – said the patient – I won’t be cured;

I am Garrik! Change my prescription.

How many are there who, tired of life,

ill with pain, dead with tedium,

make others laugh as the suicidal actor,

without finding a remedy for their illness!

Ay! How often we laugh when we cry!

Nobody trust the merriment of laughter,

because in those beings devoured by pain,

the soul groans when the face laughs!

If faith dies, if calm flees,

if our feet only step on thistles,

the tempest of the soul hurls to the face,

a sad lighting: a smile.

The carnival of the world is such a trickster,

that life is but a short masquerade;

here we learn to laugh with tears

and also to cry with laughter.

Goodbye Gabriela

I've spoken much about my sister here over the past month or two. 

For anyone just coming to my blog, let me give a quick history. 

My sister had had 3 kidney transplants in her 42 years of life. She got sick as a baby (9 months) and her life has been a nearly constant struggle since then. Her body has gone through dozens of surgeries (transplants, organ removal, hip replacement, etc) and she had to take dozens of medications over the course of her life to keep herself alive. 

Unfortunately those same medical miracles that kept her alive for the past 4 decades also destroyed her. 

On March 28 she went into the hospital due to an obstructed bowel. She got to go home on her 42nd birthday on April 1st, but returned to the hospital on 7th. 

She has now left Cedars Sinai Medical Center, but unfortunately it wasn't to come home - at least not the physical home she shared with my parents (and myself until my recent marriage). 

My sister passed away on May 21st, 2014 at 7:10pm (PST). She had been sedated due to the trauma her body had been going through and the anxiety that being intubated caused. She did not know she was going to die. She thought this was just another surgery she had to overcome. 

She was a strong person and fought her entire life. When she was 9 months old the doctors told my parents she had 10 hours to live. Thanks to her will to live and my parents dedication to her she lived well beyond that.

I'm writing this from an airport in Argentina during my honeymoon. Before we left for Argentina (where my entire extended family lives) I went to the hospital for a meeting with the doctor's. There they told us what we already knew... she would die. The surgeon told us that there was nothing she could do anymore. 

After the meeting I went to my sister's room. Her eyes were open but she wasn't there. I spoke to her and I cried and I told her I loved her (even though we haven't gotten along in the past decade). She took care of me growing up (she is was 12 years older than me). I said my goodbye's knowing I would not likely see her again. Although I left the US knowing she would die, I was not expecting it to be so quick. 

Unfortunately, on Monday the 19th when the doctors went in to wash her abdomen they found that she had several hemorrhages and that her liver had given out (due to being fed via IV since she could not be fed directly to her stomach). They gave her a week to live. On Tuesday they gave her a few hours. Finally, on Wednesday, they removed her ventilator. She lived for an hour past that. 

She is done suffering and she lived far past the lifespan she was given as an infant. I am sad, my family is sad, and we are suffering. But I believe she is with us as all our relatives and loved ones are. 

Rest in peace, Gabriela. We love you.

Reception & Ceremony Locations!

Thank you all for your lovely comments and e-mails last week! This week’s post is also a bit long, but there is a surprise at the end!

Before I was able to send out the invitations or even the STDs Thomas and I had to be sure of the location of our ceremony and/or reception. As I mentioned last week we had looked into having the wedding at a restaurant but the huge price tag that came with it would not work for me, so we had to look at alternatives. What I quickly realized was that weddings are super expensive! Especially venues to hold receptions. Every place I look at was either really expensive or required A LOT of decorating on my part. I’ve mentioned before that I am not crafty, so this was a big problem for me. I had to find a location that did not need me to provide decorations beyond maybe a couple here or there.

This led to the conclusion that the best thing for me would be to have the reception at a restaurant. Thomas had suggested using his parents backyard at some point but I did not want to do this. I didn’t think it formal and I desperately want a formal evening.  Also, while the backyard is a decent size it isn’t as large as I would want because it will not allow a lot of moving room with 75 people or so attending. I looked into a few different restaurants but we couldn’t really pick one. At some point I realized that our best option, since we were really trying to keep the cost down, would be to have the reception in their backyard. Thomas promised me that there would be enough space and calculating seats by the tables that his mom had used for his sisters’ wedding last summer, we figured out that although it will be tight there will be enough room for all of us.

I knew early on that the reception would be catered by Stone Fire Grill. They have amazing food! (No, they are not giving me anything to say this, but if they want to I wouldn’t be opposed!). SFG is also very inexpensive. My per person cost is $11 with my total bill probably running at $1000. They also have great service; I went to a birthday party they catered a few years ago and they did a good an amazing job at serving the food (via buffet line) and then boxing up and cleaning up after the event. There was no question in my mind that they would do my catering. This seemed to ruffle feathers because some people thought that if I wanted a formal evening that I shouldn’t have such informal catering. I basically did not really give that much mind because the food is delicious and both Thomas and I love it (I should mention he and I work a few blocks away the SFG is within walking distance!).

When Thomas and I came to the conclusion that our ceremony and reception would be held in different locations, I started to look for places to hold the ceremony. I am not one to call different locations (that gives me anxiety) so I relied on locations that had decent websites with e-mail contacts. There were a few different chapels that already had prices on their websites which was very helpful. I went through 3-4 different locations on Yelp (yes, on Yelp). I believe that 2-3 of them weren’t actual churches but instead the type of chapels you see in Las Vegas. While they looked nice on the internet and a co-worker got married at one and she liked it, it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t like the fake grass outside or the look of the outside of the place (one of them was in a strip mall). I was given other recommendations of actual churches and chapels all of which I didn’t like the look of or required pre-marriage counseling (which Thomas was against). One that was recommended to me by a few people was call The Little Brown Church. As the name suggests, the church is brown on the outside. I just couldn’t see myself in pictures with a brown background. Not my favorite color.

Finally I found The Little White Chapel, a Disciples of Christ church. It’s about 15-20 minutes from our reception which is not a problem for me (after all our guests will head there before we do to allow us time for pictures, so it works out perfectly in my mind). This was a problem for others around me, however. They argued that if they were already going to be driving 30 minutes to get to the chapel they would not want to drive again for another 20 minutes to get to the reception. My response to this was: don’t come. It was hurtful to me since I know that my sister (and family) and maid of honor are traveling hundreds of miles to be here for our wedding and they have to problem making a trip to get to the reception.

Neither Thomas nor I are very religious. Thomas considers himself atheist while I do consider myself Christian. He allowed me to have the ceremony conducted by a minister with religious wording for the vows. I went to visit the Chapel with my parents (Thomas didn’t feel like he needed to go) a few days before Christmas. I loved the rustic feel of it. It’s wooden on the inside and has a classic chapel feel with a bell tower an all outside. The carpet is red which will make my dress stand out (I’m not having a runner, but I will lay petals on the aisle – no flower girl). The chapel is small which will make the wedding nice and cozy. My guest list ended up being 75, and while I still haven’t gotten all the RSVPs back, I expect that I will have around 65-70 people in attendance. The chapel seats 75 people maximum.

The ceremony will be done by someone that many of you probably know! Rev. Bill Thomas played Vanessa Huxtable’s fiancée on The Cosby Show! Recognize him?

Next week I’ll talk about my other vendors!