My Busy Weekend Wrap Up

If you follow me on Twitter or even on Instagram you will know that I had an eventful weekend. No relaxing for me whatsoever. Go Go Go.

F R I D A Y / /

On Friday I went to lunch with my fiancée at Stone Fire Grill. One of the perks of working around the corner from your man is lunch dates can be as often as you want. When I got back from my lunch I checked my e-mail at work and saw that my mom had sent a message telling me that my dad had taken my sister to the hospital because she was in so much pain.

My sister is on MediCal (Medicaid in other states) and SSI/SSP. She became sick when she was 9 months old and has had 3 kidney transplants, making her permanently disabled (her story will come in another post, I spent 3 hours writing it all up on my iPad on Friday night only for Blogger to lose it!) and eligible for MediCal and other government services. Her normal hospital is Cedars Sinai (one that usually has many celebrity ‘guests’) but my dad was unable to get her that because she was in so much pain. We live about 45 minutes from Cedars but all she could withstand was the 20 minute drive to Tarzana Providence Medical Center.

My mom’s e-mail was scare – it basically said that my sister had 2 hernia’s in her intestines and if she didn’t have surgery right away she would die.

I won’t make this suspenseful, my sister is very much alive and recuperating from her surgery. But let me backtrack and tell the story of that evening.

My brother took my mom (who doesn’t drive) to the hospital after the kids got home from school and when I got off work an hour or two later I called her to see what was going on. She told me that they were trying something non-surgical to clear up the problem so I could go home and eat dinner and then if I could come to the hospital to bring her some things she had packed earlier but forgot to put in the car. I agreed and went home. I caught up on some Argentinean novelas and as the first was ending my mom called back saying that what the doctors’ were trying wasn’t working and that she would be going into surgery in 2 hours so if I could please come and bring the things so that my dad could go home for a while.

I got to the hospital just past 6:30pm and as I walked off the elevator on the floor of her room my mom was walking past them. They had just taken her into the OR. I went to talk to the nurse who told me that it would be a complicated surgery and that my sister could possible lose her kidney. They weren’t sure how long it would last but that if there was any news they would contact me.

My mom and I sat in the room my sister had been assigned and (as I mentioned above) I typed up my sisters’ life story per my mom’s memories. Sometime later my dad arrived and I went out to pick up some dinner. At some point during this is when the 5.1 Earthquake happened. I didn't feel it since we were in the center of the large building (and I was disappointed about that). 

My parents got sleepy.

The surgeon finally came out at 10:10pm (how do they stay up so late and do something so important?). He let us know that everything had gone well and her vitals were fine. We just had to wait to see if she would go to the ICU or back to the regular room. After what seemed like an eternity she was taken back to her room. My dad stayed while I took my mom home so she could sleep before going back the next morning for a 24 hour stay there. 

S A T U R D A Y / /

I took my mom back to the hospital early on Saturday morning. I stayed with her for most of the morning. My dad arrived around lunch time and we left my sister to sleep while we went to the cafeteria. While this hospital is very nice with a great staff, the food is not up to par. Soon after that I left and went to Thomas' house. 

We didn't get home until past midnight on Friday/Saturday, so when I got back to Thomas' house I went to sleep. I wanted to nap for an hour but I fell asleep for nearly 3. After my very relaxing nap Thomas and I headed to do some browsing of furniture. I wanted to have an outing where we could look at things and see what the other liked. This is where we discovered we have very different taste. We did agree on some items (although Thomas said he could change his mind on them).

Thomas likes items that have a lot of decorations on them, something I might have seen in some of my friends homes 20 years ago. I'm more modern, I think.

We did agree on this one, it's dark wood that he likes but simple enough for me. 

We enjoyed some In-N-Out in between shopping and then we went back to his house (where I broke down again), did some laundry, and watched a movie. 

S U N D A Y / /

Sunday was my bridal shower. While I looked forward to the bridal shower I also dreaded it. I knew that a lot of attention would be on me and I didn't not like that. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, however. It was very helpful that my mom was there (a trooper, she was going on some 30+ hours of being awake). Thomas and I got a lot of nice gifts (some of which were jus for me) that we will enjoy when we move in together. All pictures are on my Facebook page, but here are a few (I'll also make a post just about the party itself):

After the party I was exhausted. The weekend had caught up to me. Nikki spent the night (since she hadn't on Friday, which she always does).

It was a very long weekend. Stressful and fun and tiring. This week is not shaping up to be any better (lots of home buying stress left!). 

Pit & Peak

I usually write this post up at work but it was a hectic week and I concentrated on some other work. Instead it's Thursday night and I'm watching Hell's Kitchen and bending the hell out of my back to sit in front of my computer. I digress.

Linking up, as always, with...

PITS - 

// O N E  - Okay, I sat here for a while trying to think of a pit and couldn't. I wrote out all my peaks and still couldn't think of one. The closest thing to a put this week is that they did the appraisal on Tuesday at 4pm but as of this writing have not heard back. We are supposed to close Escrow on April 5th.

PEAKS - 

// O N E - I changed my mood around. Although I did start off rough on Monday, I mentally have been making myself change to be positive and it has been working! 

// T W O - I got to eat some yummy beef this week. My dad surprised me on Tuesday with some "asado" and on Wednesday I had similar meal from Flame Broiler with Thomas. 

// T H R E E - When I walked into work on Monday there were two old people sitting in my cubicle. After some coyness my best friend at work admitted she bought them for me over the weekend. She said they reminded her of Thomas and I in 40 years. Look:

// F O U R - I began writing out my name cards for the wedding. This was exciting and made me feel that one step closer to the wedding! 

// F I V E - A co-worker made me some streamers for the wedding (only a tiny bit tacky, but it'll look good - I promise!) and she finished them this week. I'm looking forward to them! 

// S I X - We did a fundraiser at work on Tuesday by selling quesadillas which made me crave quesadillas so I made those Thursday night. Delicious. Oh, and Friday? On Friday we are selling Churros! 

This week I am also linking up with...

And...

Anxiety Spilleth Over

This is what I wrote while lying on Thomas’ bed on Saturday night. I was in the dark and only had my wedding notebook with me. I needed to write…

I can’t deal with all of this. I do well on my own, but when I’m placed in a situation with his family it drives me crazy. I feel completely stressed out and judged. I feel like they are constantly looking at me and judging what I do.

A lot of the time I feel like that most of the time the wedding is for his family and not for us. I want my family included as well, but the majority of them are in Argentina which makes it all but impossible for them to be there for it.

It just makes me feel bad… I had a meltdown. I cried and cried some more. On Thomas’ bed. He must think I’m absolutely crazy. He wants me to be close to his family but I don’t know how. I don’t know how t be a friend. I never have and much less with the pressure added of it being his family and them talking about me. I am very sensitive and I don’t’ know when something is truly a joke or when they are just saying something as a joke.

Obviously there are things here, reading back, that do not make sense. They are also things that I know on the inside are not true. I know they are most likely not judging me or talking about me behind my back. But I feel like that even if they have given me no reason to think it. They are a great family. It was one of the things I really loved about Thomas when we first met. He had a great big family which was united and close to each other. It’s how my family is.

Somehow between then and now I have simply lost my s***. At some point several years ago I decided that I was doing well enough that I did not need to be on anti-anxiety medication any longer. For the most part that has kept true. I’m hesitant to say that I need to go back on them on a regular basis. I’m hopeful that the reason from my anxieties and fears about my in-laws (and others, although it has been my relationship with them for the past bit) is wholly because of the wedding and house buying. I am hopeful that in a just over a month when the house buying and wedding are both behind me everything will get back to the normal I was used to.

That normal being that I can be in a social situation with his family and not feel like a complete outcast. A normal that is that I sit with them, but mostly stay quiet because I am unsure of what to say and when to say it. Something that I am used to in just about all social situations. I always tend to say the wrong thing. When I try to say something it always seems to me that I’m ignored and/or that what I say is inappropriate (this isn’t just with them but in all situations – work included). While that may not be the best situation and may not be ideal but at least I am more comfortable than how I have been feeling lately.

I hope that I don’t have to have any more negative posts or comments on here. I feel like I’ve been such a downer lately. Please bear with me.

Linking up with...

And Kristin at...

Reception & Ceremony Locations!

Thank you all for your lovely comments and e-mails last week! This week’s post is also a bit long, but there is a surprise at the end!

Before I was able to send out the invitations or even the STDs Thomas and I had to be sure of the location of our ceremony and/or reception. As I mentioned last week we had looked into having the wedding at a restaurant but the huge price tag that came with it would not work for me, so we had to look at alternatives. What I quickly realized was that weddings are super expensive! Especially venues to hold receptions. Every place I look at was either really expensive or required A LOT of decorating on my part. I’ve mentioned before that I am not crafty, so this was a big problem for me. I had to find a location that did not need me to provide decorations beyond maybe a couple here or there.

This led to the conclusion that the best thing for me would be to have the reception at a restaurant. Thomas had suggested using his parents backyard at some point but I did not want to do this. I didn’t think it formal and I desperately want a formal evening.  Also, while the backyard is a decent size it isn’t as large as I would want because it will not allow a lot of moving room with 75 people or so attending. I looked into a few different restaurants but we couldn’t really pick one. At some point I realized that our best option, since we were really trying to keep the cost down, would be to have the reception in their backyard. Thomas promised me that there would be enough space and calculating seats by the tables that his mom had used for his sisters’ wedding last summer, we figured out that although it will be tight there will be enough room for all of us.

I knew early on that the reception would be catered by Stone Fire Grill. They have amazing food! (No, they are not giving me anything to say this, but if they want to I wouldn’t be opposed!). SFG is also very inexpensive. My per person cost is $11 with my total bill probably running at $1000. They also have great service; I went to a birthday party they catered a few years ago and they did a good an amazing job at serving the food (via buffet line) and then boxing up and cleaning up after the event. There was no question in my mind that they would do my catering. This seemed to ruffle feathers because some people thought that if I wanted a formal evening that I shouldn’t have such informal catering. I basically did not really give that much mind because the food is delicious and both Thomas and I love it (I should mention he and I work a few blocks away the SFG is within walking distance!).

When Thomas and I came to the conclusion that our ceremony and reception would be held in different locations, I started to look for places to hold the ceremony. I am not one to call different locations (that gives me anxiety) so I relied on locations that had decent websites with e-mail contacts. There were a few different chapels that already had prices on their websites which was very helpful. I went through 3-4 different locations on Yelp (yes, on Yelp). I believe that 2-3 of them weren’t actual churches but instead the type of chapels you see in Las Vegas. While they looked nice on the internet and a co-worker got married at one and she liked it, it just wasn’t for me. I didn’t like the fake grass outside or the look of the outside of the place (one of them was in a strip mall). I was given other recommendations of actual churches and chapels all of which I didn’t like the look of or required pre-marriage counseling (which Thomas was against). One that was recommended to me by a few people was call The Little Brown Church. As the name suggests, the church is brown on the outside. I just couldn’t see myself in pictures with a brown background. Not my favorite color.

Finally I found The Little White Chapel, a Disciples of Christ church. It’s about 15-20 minutes from our reception which is not a problem for me (after all our guests will head there before we do to allow us time for pictures, so it works out perfectly in my mind). This was a problem for others around me, however. They argued that if they were already going to be driving 30 minutes to get to the chapel they would not want to drive again for another 20 minutes to get to the reception. My response to this was: don’t come. It was hurtful to me since I know that my sister (and family) and maid of honor are traveling hundreds of miles to be here for our wedding and they have to problem making a trip to get to the reception.

Neither Thomas nor I are very religious. Thomas considers himself atheist while I do consider myself Christian. He allowed me to have the ceremony conducted by a minister with religious wording for the vows. I went to visit the Chapel with my parents (Thomas didn’t feel like he needed to go) a few days before Christmas. I loved the rustic feel of it. It’s wooden on the inside and has a classic chapel feel with a bell tower an all outside. The carpet is red which will make my dress stand out (I’m not having a runner, but I will lay petals on the aisle – no flower girl). The chapel is small which will make the wedding nice and cozy. My guest list ended up being 75, and while I still haven’t gotten all the RSVPs back, I expect that I will have around 65-70 people in attendance. The chapel seats 75 people maximum.

The ceremony will be done by someone that many of you probably know! Rev. Bill Thomas played Vanessa Huxtable’s fiancée on The Cosby Show! Recognize him?

Next week I’ll talk about my other vendors!

Hey! It's okay...

It was one heck of a weekend so I think that finding all things that are okay is definitely something I needed.

Hey! It’s okay…

• That I cried. I needed to relieve some stress and get out the things that were going on in my head that I couldn’t otherwise express. I might have freaked Thomas out a bit (a lot), and even though it sucked having a panic attack at the time… I sort of feel like I was able to express a lot of my worries and concerns.
• That I bought a fridge on Sunday evening without Thomas there. I asked him to go with me but he said he didn’t want to. I went with my mom and I chose a fridge that I am happy with. I’ll go and check it out with Thomas to make sure he likes it.
• That I am a bit of a perfectionist, especially when it comes to my wedding. Unfortunately this has caused a lot of arguments between Thomas and I, but I stand by wanting things specific ways. I’m discovered that I am sort of a micromanager and not being able to control certain aspects of the wedding is driving me insane.
• That I spend the majority of my 3-minutes-between-calls time reading blogs. My morning at work usually consists of taking calls and then reading blogs 3 minutes at a time. After I get through all the blogs I go to Twitter, then I will either scroll through Instagram or start writing my own blog post (like this one, during my lunch hour).
• (probably not okay, but it’s okay…) that I peel my gel nail polish office as time gets close to getting them re-done. I leave them on for a month, so the last week they begin to peel. I’ll be getting them redone tonight! I only have 2 more times before the wedding and then I will no longer go to the salon for them.
• That I do not love being in social situations and that I sometimes would rather hang out just with Thomas or on my own. .
• That I have not been worrying about losing weight for now. My plan is that when I get back from my honeymoon (which is to Argentina so it will include a lot of red meat, gelato dulce de leche, facturas and masa finas) I will reevaluate my weight and where I want to be. I will plan out meals (I think I will start off doing lots of crock pot recipes) that both Thomas and I enjoy and that are healthy for us. It will be a work in progress to learn to cook for two on a daily basis and to learn which veggies he will and will not eat.
• To feel a bit of relief to have our loan approved. We are about 11 days away from closing escrow. I still very much dislike our realtor, but thanks to a great broker my spirits have been up. We should have our appraisal completed any day now.
• To not be completely excited about the bridal shower that I’m having on Sunday. Don’t get me wrong, I am VERY grateful for it, but because it is a social event it is giving me a bit of anxiety which in turns does not allow me to be excited.
• To be upset that flights for our honeymoon were as low $849 round trip and by the time I went to buy them they had gone up $200 per ticket. I’m holding out hope that they will go back down soon.
• That this post is really long… so I will stop here!

Also linking up with...

Weekend Recap

What a crazy few days. Mostly not good crazy. Mostly panicky, crying, yelling type of crazy. A crazy that I might write up to help me deal with everything that was going through my head in the past few days. 

F R I D A Y / /

Everything was leading up to Friday. Friday was the day that we were supposed to sign away our loan contingency, except we didn't have a loan on Friday by 5pm. This cause me to go like this:

Thomas does not feel the stress like I do and generally just tells me to "calm down, don't stress out, everything will be fine!" I don't typically take well to that advice. 

We were finally officially approved for the loan as of 6:07pm on Friday. Woohoo! We still have to submit more documents that our lender is requesting and sign some other forms, but the big hurdle is over. However, because our realtor is no-good we haven't had a clear answer as to wether we were able to get the contingency removal extended or not. I'm assuming we did since we have not heard that they pulled out of the sale. The lack of communication from our realtor makes me continue to feel like Ms. Swift. 

On the brighter side I did get my new TOMS in the mail on Friday. I had bought some in late November but they came apart in just a couple of months. Luckily Toms guarantees their products so I was given store credit and I ordered a new pair on Wednesday. Now I have these awesome ones:

I had somewhat of a breakdown on Friday night, over Skype, with Thomas. He told me some version of what I mentioned above and it snowballed into saying things, that while true about me to some extent, I do not want to hear all at once from him. It brought up my complete lack of social skills and the fact that my bridesmaids are my nieces because I do not have any girl friends that I could even ask to be in my wedding party. None. (I do have my maid of honor, by sheer luck because she is an amazing, patient human being- I love you Lauren!). 

It was not a pretty picture. I was in massive tears, Nikki was trying to console me... it was just sad to look at. 

S A T U R D A Y / /

Thomas and I are having a limited bar at our wedding reception. I didn't want bar at all - I wanted a bottle (or 2) of champagne for each table for toasts and keep to soda/juice from there on. Thomas vetoed this idea because apparently most of the invitees like to drink. What ended up happening was that his parents decided to pay for the drinks/cups. We do want to keep this inexpensive so we are doing the same thing his sister had at her wedding - a choice of 2 drinks. We needed to decide which drinks we wanted, so on Saturday evening we went to the bar where our bartender works at. I gathered a few recipes for "blue" martini's using blue Curacao. The first 3, while drinkable, were not very tasty. We've made a decision one, though and... I'm mostly happy with it. 

I was buzzed by the time that Thomas asked me a question about the wedding that we had previously discussed which upset me. Probably more than it should have. I do tend to overreact. Thomas is correct in saying that I get upset (overly so) when I don't get what I want. I don't think this is a horrible quality, it makes me strive to get what I want. I just need to learn to handle disappointment better. Definitely something I will need to work on over time. 

However yesterday was not the day I chose to work on it. After coming home (still buzzed) I became a mess. I was still reeling from the discussion he and I had had and there was going to be a meeting of sorts at his house which included his sisters and other family members. I did not want to be involved in the meeting because it is something (what they were going to be discussing) that I am not really interested in. I went straight to Thomas' bedroom. He went out and said his hello's. We talked for a while about what had happened the night before and earlier in the day which just made me spiral downward. It was a long fall down and I feel full fledged into a panic attack. This was only me second panic attack, the first about 18 months ago on a camping trip. On top of what he and I had been discussing I overheard his aunt talking about the bridal shower they are throwing for me and... well, it made me very anxious. Thomas asked me to come out because they wanted to discuss the party (which is in a week) with me, but I couldn't - that threw me over the edge and I couldn't control my breathing. 

]

Thomas was able to help me come down from it and we were able to watch a movie (Insidious) but the feelings/thoughts are only temporarily pushed down. I can tell. I need to find a way to let it out. Hopefully I will find the time to write it down and post it. I may have to make some posts private and I hope that some of you (or all of you really) will request the password so that someone will read it. There will probably be things I don't want some people to read/know for now. 

S U N D A Y / / 

Nikki is in 4th grade and in California that is when students' study the California Missions. There are 21 Missions here spread from San Francisco down to San Diego. We live close to the San Fernando Mission, but my mom and I decided to take her (for extra credit) to the Mission at San Juan Capistrano. This mission is famous for the swallows which travel from Goya, Argentina to San Juan Capistrano (as well as other areas). My mom adores swallows (golondrinas, in Spanish) so we had to make the 1 1/2 hour drive there. We had a really nice time getting to walk around the grounds. I'll have to make a post dedicated to the trip, but here a couple of pictures:

Nikki standing by what is left of an adobe wall from the late 1700's.

Please ignore my... less than stylish being. In front of Father Serra statue.

In the morning paper there was a Sears ad that had refrigerators at pretty good prices including free delivery. The offer was valid from 6pm until closing so we headed there on our return from the mission. We were all very tired, but if we went home first I knew we wouldn't make it back out of the house (although I later did!). I bought a fridge!!! (Oh, and why is fridge spelled with a 'd' but refrigerator isn't?). It is a french-door fridge and... well, I love it! More on that when I do move and receive it in a few weeks. 

Thomas had been working on his project all day so I hadn't spoken to him, but not long after I got home his sisters invited him and I to go see The Lego Movie. It was super cute, a lot better than I would have thought. I probably would never had otherwise seen the movie. It also helped lift part of the negative cloud I have going on around me. 

If you read all this - thank you. It is only a partial release of my stress, but it has helped. Thank you! 

Linking up with Leeann:

and...

Pit & Peak

I'm linking up with Allie & Jen today for Pit & Peak! 

I feel that by Friday all I have to say is “what a week!” or “it’s been a week!”. I guess with everything going on in my life at the moment they are expected thoughts, right?

Let’s start with the bad stuff before I get into the good things, okay?

PITS:

O N E – More drama with our realtor. She just cannot get her story straight and it is really driving me insane.

T W O – Thomas had to be up at midnight a couple of nights which meant his sleep schedule was off which meant we didn’t get to talk to each other before bed. L

T H R E E – Because of side jobs that he is getting done I actually haven’t seen Thomas since last Saturday. I don’t like that.

F O U R – I’ve been searching for Pillsbury pie crust so my mommy will make apple pie but it has eluded me! Are they out everywhere?

F I V E – More than usual someone has been getting on my nerves. This is a coworker, so I’ll leave it at that.

S I X – My ribs have been very painful and I have not been doing any lifting so I don’t know why. This is scary since I’m already on the strongest medicine for it.

PEAKS!

O N E – I donated blood on Wednesday! Did you know that 1 donation = 1 pint of blood = 3 saved lives? (Also it meant I could eat cookies without feeling guilty!)

T W O – I got some things done for the wedding! The rentals/taco truck will be paid for today and the silverware was purchased. I also got some awesome pintable’s for a couple of games as well as the church.

T H R E E – Those printable’s? They came from an AMAZING blogger that I’ve gotten to know lately – Kerri from http://kerriwaller.com/

F O U R – I was able to get more things packed! My mom is chugging away at this… I think she’s giving me a hint!

F I V E – I got a GREAT review/evaluation at work!

S I X – I guess this was last week – but we got a raise! It was only 2%, but it’s a bit more money, right?

S E V E N – My doctor e-mailed me back and I now have a plan for my wedding night – honeymoon (a few weeks later). My fiancée likes this one!

E I G H T – I got to join Nora and Tausha for a great raffle! If you haven’t already please go here and join!

More Peaks than Pits! That’s the way it should be! I would have also added as a Peak that Spring began, but it has been spring since November here, so that’s not a fair Peak.

I am also linking up with The Grits Blog for...

Throwback Thursday!

Today I'm Linking Up with Amanda Nicole for Throwback Thursdays!

As many of you know I will be moving in… 38 days! This means that my mom has happily began the process of going through the entire house packing everything that belongs to me. While cleaning out a bookcase that she is going to give to me (something sweet of her because it was a book case that she has in use!) she found a notebook that she and my sister kept when I was little.

I’ve seen this book many times before but I never noticed a couple of papers that were taped to the cover. The first one I noticed was my mom’s pregnancy verification. In my line of work I have to ask women who report their pregnancy to submit this same document that my mom got at Planned Parenthood 30 years ago.

It was very weird to see this, but very cool at the same time. It is also weird because I had to go to that same Planned Parenthood a few years ago when I was uninsured (for a pap, FYI). 

Also in the book there was the card that is placed on the crib:

It also included a cute picture of me when I was a baby (but what picture of mine isn't cute?):

In a previous post I spoke about liking my cheeks - well here is a great example of my squeezable cheeks! Looks at those! 

13 Bloggers Giveaway!

I was so excited to see Nora at The Petite Mrs asking for people to join a giveaway! This is my first time participating in a raffle (at least on my blog, I do them all the time at work!) and am really excited for all of you to participate! 

I only recently started joining other raffles and they are SO easy to do! So please browse these wonderful ladies (like I'm going to be doing today!) and then scroll down and follow us so that you can win these wonderful prizes!

Then come back and visit us again! 

Good Luck! 

                The Petite Mrs - AD SPACE                      Taush.O - AD SPACE ($10) & Target Card ($5)

         Never Catch Your Breath - AD SPACE ($20)               Skinned Knees - TARGET - ($10)

        Pure Impressions Designs -  BRACELET ($23)             Him & Me  - STARBUCKS ($5)

                 Coffee-n-Ink - AD SPACE                                         The Texan Pantry - AD SPACE

                  Emily Finta - AD SPACE ($12)                        House Full of Boys - AD SPACE ($9)

              Halfway to Fearless -  AD SPACE                 Em-Provising - THIS gorgeous necklace ($10)

       

      Kakers in Wonderland - AD SPACE


          Have fun & enjoy meeting some new friendly faces!

a Rafflecopter giveaway 

** Winner will be chosen via rafflecopter, winners entries will be VERIFIED & upon confirmation emailed. Winner has 24 hours to respond before next winner is chosen. US RESIDENTS ONLY PLEASE**